Questions for a beautiful mind.
Thursday, Jun. 16, 2005, 10:20 p.m.

Why do I think so much?
Why do I always assume things are more then they are, therefore only hurting myself in the end?
Why can't I stop fucking up?
Why can't I just be happy with who I am?
Why do I WANT to dance again, move to the city, any city, JUST GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERE?
How is this my life?

1. The manager no longer wants to see me because it 'isn't going anywhere'. We're still friends, and that's great. This is probably better because I would like to find a RICH guy who I like and will treat me like a princess. Honestly, I'm crushed.
2. I totaled my car. I am lucky to be alive right now. I'm glad I'm okay, I'm gald a got a nice new car, but all I can say is this. "I wasn't even drunk. I totaled my car, completely sober, for nothing other than to reach down and get a pack of cigarettes that had fallen on the floor."
3. I want to move back to the city.
4. I have gained 7 pounds over the past 2 weeks. 7!!!! This is because I am horribly, horribly depressed.

Depressed?

I hate that word. Unfortunately, I have come to several realizations about myself.

1. I am an alcoholic.
2. I have repressed far too much bullshit for WAY too long. I need help.
3. I eat away my pain, which will result in becoming a heffer.

I need a fucking psychiatrist.

Hey, my new car's super nice! Cheers!!

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