Rambling, Rambling Thoughts
Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2003, 9:24 a.m.

So many things to think about, so many things to say. I moved into the new apartment and it is gorgeous. It strikes me as odd how by simply surrounding yourself with nice things, life gets better. My father has always said this to me and I just never believed him...he was right. Things are just so peaceful, and normal. Funny, I never thought I could just stop drugging. I have been clean since March, my sex-toy party was the last time I blew coke. Before that it was August. Slowly but surely, day by day, I am okay. Drinking is down to just the weekends. Sometimes I slip and drink during the week but that's okay. I'm really learning to like myself a lot, and to respect all that I have. It feels good.

I will get pics of the new apartment for next time. T minus 2 months till I get a computer. I cannot wait until my diary gets reviewed so I can change this layout.

Halloween was awesome. Baby was Snow White, C was a Dad and I was a Mom...Ha! Vacation is in just 1 1/2 weeks, HURRAH. I will try to update before then, god knows I need to. This diary has become like a thereapy/bitch session to me. I miss being able to sit at a computer and just let the words come out.

I hate lying in bed thinking. Thinking is my worst enemy. If I lie down in bed and am not tierd(how is that spelled?) I will sit up and just brood over stupid thoughts that should NOT be affecting my life...the stupid girl at McDonald's, Baby's real father, who was a total shit to me(That's a story for another day) blah, blah, blah.

Does everybody think like this?

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