Entry for Pieces of You
Thursday, Aug. 05, 2004, 2:24 p.m.

"Some people say there is one moment in their life that made them who they are today. Do you have a defining moment? Tell us about it."

I'm not quite sure I've had my defining moment. A lot of things make me who I am...I'm not sure if it is like this with everyone but I have gone through so much that I feel I could write a novel of all the bad things...and the good...that defined my person.

The night I quit being a stripper...it showed me that I am capable of pulling myself out of bad situations. That I recognize these situations, and can correct it on my own. I was a mess. I was crying, and so upset. I called a friend who brought me home and left me too much coke...when it ran out I called another friend who blew WAY too much coke with me and we drank heinekens till 6 in the morning. I made it back to my apartment in time to meet my sister who had my daughter and nephew...I remember being perfectly fine and then just start vomitting...but I don't remember anything after that. I overdosed. I woke up on my sister couch the next day. So I guess I really wasn't capable of pulling myself out of a bad situation.

And I went back to the club 4 days later...they wouldn't let me work. I had to go home. The house mother called me the next day pissed, and told me I should have been allowed to work, to come back in...but I told her I didn't think I was going to, that I was all done, I couldn't take it any more.

And I haven't touched coke since that night...

So maybe it was my defining moment, I just didn't realize it. I'm not quite sure. I know it was definitely one of the moments that taught me, but I'm just not sure if it was the big one.

But I'm only 21. I've got time.

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