Realization?
Wednesday, Aug. 04, 2004, 2:51 p.m.

Dreams are our way of working out conflicts that we don't want to or know how to face when we're awake. Dreams dealing with guns usually have something to do with your demeanor...(usually a temper)... as does war. Dreaming of a familiar house... a childhood home or a house where you were when you were younger are usually about self exploration. Think of your mind as many rooms. You have lots of vivid themes in your dream. Don't really read too much into the whole story, but pick out the parts that stand in your mind. The phrase that struck me most was "I was given a second chance at life. I didn't want it." I would think about that and compare it to how other things in your life are going. Hope this was helpful and not harmful :)

This was left by kellbelle on my notes page, and it really made me think. I am dealing with so many changes right now...I feel like I am the only one growing up and doing what needs to be done in my group of friends...I am having problems with C...I can't stop drinking, slowing down, but I can't stop...I fly off the handle at everything. I think maybe because I had died in my first life, and it was painful, that was why I din't want to go through life again. I knew it would happen again.

I always say I regret everything I have ever done, and I wish I could go back and do it over again...but I would do the same things, because all the same circumstances would happen...I think...no matter what my parents would still get divorced, I'd still be with Jay...the rape would still have happened...the drugs would still control me...I'd have to strip to support myself, and do drugs even more...I'd still drink to get away from the drugs.

I think I have hit a realization point. There is no point to regret. My life would still be the same. Maybe this is the cause of all the nightmares, of the lucid dreams...but who knows.

I'm still considering seeing a counselor once every 2 weeks.

last - next