Nazi Dream
Wednesday, Aug. 04, 2004, 12:43 p.m.

I can't stop these dreams. I haven't had one like this in a long time. Last week it was the vividness that got to me.

But the nightmares are back. It's been at least 2 or 3 months since the last real bad one...it just seems like the lucid dreams won't ever go away.

It was WW2. I was with my boss, and the Audio Designer. We all had 2 guns apiece, these long black skinny guns; one in each hand. We were shooting at the Nazis, when they shot a gernade or something my way. I couldn't feel the heat, but the light blinded me for a half a second...and then it was black. I had died, and I really had.

But then the scene switched, and I was given a second chance at life. I didn't want it. I'm not sure who it was giving me this second chance but I am positive it was not God. I was crying, I was trying to explain that I didn't want to die again, because I knew I would. We were in Germany, but it was my old house on Klondike. Baby and I pulled into the driveway and I forgot about her...then I was with my grandmother and aunt were saying they had a way out of the country, but they wouldn't take Baby and I because she wouldn't know to stay quiet. I begged and pleaded, I was crying but they wouldn't let us come. They told me to take refuge in the woods. And they asked where she was, I started running but my legs were slowing down, it was like I was trying to run under water.

I got to my driveway and a man who looked similar to my Uncle that passed away pulled in, in a blue van...he was yelling at me for strapping Baby in the car in the sun for 3 hours. I thought I was safe from the Nazi's because he was there now, but he told me I wasn't, he wasn't going into the woods with me. As I was running towards my car, Baby poked her out of the window and I woke up.

I lay in bed for a few minutes, telling myself that none of it had happened. That none of this was true, it was a dream and in my head. I tried to go back to sleep, to will myself to dream the dream I wanted to. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I had left Baby...especially when she was in so much danger. I still can't shake the feeling.

What am I supposed to do to make these lucid dreams stop? I don't believe in medication, but I am all shook up and depressed over something that is NOT true, it didn't happen. That's why I think we leave our bodies and go somewhere else when we dream...it's just so vivd.

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