All of my friends make me want to rip my hair out
Tuesday, Aug. 03, 2004, 2:49 p.m.

2 more hours to go. That's it. Only 2 more hours, and I can leave...to do nothing. Nothing at all. I am flat broke, I have no alcohol. I have half a gallon of red wine and a 30 pack of beer.

I don't want to drink the wine but I will. I hate Molson Ice. How much I am needing to drink is absurd...it's 3:00, and all I can think about is getting out of this CRAPHOLE and having a drink.

Not to get drunk, just to calm my nerves. I'm never like this during the day, but work was so stressful today...a company overbilled us, triple billed us really, and I have been dealing with it all day.

I want to go to a concert on Mon., but C does not want me to. He says he cannot trust me because every time I go out, I stay out later than I say I will. That's NOT the case though. I have been working on this, Once it was discussed I started coming home on time. He's just jealous, is all...we need to talk, we've been trying to communicate more, but it seems like neither of us listen...

I'm so sick of fucking stereotypes. Why do people look at a pretty girl who pays attention to her hair and make-up and call her a 'snob' or a 'chicken'? That is just fucking retarded. That's like looking at a girl who doesn't pay attention to her looks and calling her a dyke because of it, you know? Like, we're not in highschool anymore...people are just people. The only reason for even saying anything about a pretty girl with nice clothes, etc., is because you're obviously jealous. And you can't say you're not because it obviously bothers you to the point of saying something about it...and why would it bother you unless you were jealous?

I just feel like all of my friends are inadequate...like they all need to grow up, get fucking RESPONSIBLE, and get out of highschool. All they want to do is either party all the time (which one could counter with, well, you're an alcoholic -- well, jackass, at least I'm at home w/ my kid) or make fun of people. What's the point? We all left highschool years ago, let's keep it that way.

Why would any one base any one else on their looks? People aren't what they dress like...and music doesn't make the person. Take me for example. I dress according to how much time I have to get ready. Today I am wearing make up, have on a nice shirt and heels. On the weekend, I'll be in sweats, flip flops, and an old foxy lady tee-shirt. So today I'm a chicken and on Saturday I'm a scrub? I love Jay-Z. So much. And I also highly enjoy Carole King, Mike Jackson, and Tim McGraw? So what am I now?

GROW UP. YOU ALL MAKE ME WANT TO RIP MY HAIR OUT.

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